Anger Management And Prevention

To get freedom from anger, you need to stop trying to control other people, events and the world in general and accept them exactly as they are at a particular moment. In the meantime, since most of us have learned and developed the deep habit of becoming angry regularly, given below is a stepwise method that, over a period of time, will help you manage and overcome anger completely.

1. Realization

By increasing your self-realization, you will start to notice the anger in its initial stage, e.g. irritation is the first warning that there is a disturbance in your mind. When you do start to experience the irritation emerging, go to the next step.

2. Recognition

Recognize the fact that you and only you are completely responsible for creating your irritation. Make sure not to become irritated at yourself for becoming irritated!

3. Acceptance

Accept and welcome the irritation’s presence, do not resist it, otherwise it will only become stronger and you are likely to suppress it.

4. Detachment

Now detach yourself from the emotion and just observe it. Remember, you are not your emotions. All emotions die under observation. You are the creator and it is your creation. Don’t identify with the emotion.

5. Tune In

The quietest place in a storm is at its centre. And so it is with the storm of emotion. The quietest place is at the centre, which is the heart of your own consciousness. The technique of Rajyoga meditation (as taught by the Brahma Kumaris) teaches you how to go there and connect with the Supreme Soul and discover your inner peace and power.

After following the stepwise method to overcome anger (as explained yesterday and today), at the end of the day, check yourself as to how well you implemented these steps in real life situations to overcome your anger. You may not be able to go through all the steps right away, but for a particular situation, your thoughts while checking yourself, could be: “This afternoon, I did experience a feeling of irritation arising inside me when Mr. Gupta visited me in my office, so I did realize the irritation. I recognized and took responsibility for it, and did not get angry with him. But instead of accepting the presence of the irritation, I began to oppose and thereby suppress it. As a result it worsened by the evening. So tomorrow I will work more on the third step i.e. Acceptance and experience true inner peace.”


“To be an inspiration to many is to be a hero actor.”


When we see negativity in others, we usually think and speak about it. We then take no inspiration to think and act positive. The more the attention is drawn towards negativity, our actions will become negative too.


Whatever the situation we are in, we need to make effort to change our own actions and turn them to positive. We will then be free from looking at the negativity in others. And our actions will become an inspiration to those around us, which will inspire them to become positive too.


Reflection (thinking deeply) is a necessary step in digesting knowledge.
Reflection is an exercise of the mind and intellect that goes into the depths of understanding an idea, or realization, or point of knowledge with the aim of practicing it in daily life.
Values in my life are a sign that knowledge has been digested; without this, knowledge simply remains a beautiful aspect, appreciated, interesting information in my intellect but without the ability to give me strength because it is still external; it has not been internalised.
All quality action (quality action is that action which is truly appropriate to person, circumstance and the need of the moment), all newness of perception (understanding), all new insights, or vision, require a space for silent reflection as a preliminary step.
Normally, we are lost in the business of action, its routine and ritual that make our life so mechanical and hence dull and boring, or demanding and hectic.
A mind and intellect that do not give time and attention to reflective silence (meditation) become lazy, though externally there is lots of activity for hours and hours. No new heights are reached because there is no depth of awareness in what we are doing, no reflection on purpose. As a result, we get trapped by routine.

To be dictated to by external situations, which make us run around without stopping internally, brings aboutunnecessary stress on the mind, which keeps us tied to the strings of the external, like a puppet pulled, pressed and pushed by circumstances.

To break free from this force, to relieve the mind of the weight of stress and waste and routine, I need to stepinside and reflect (think) on who I am and where I am going and reassess my value system. Otherwise, life becomes like a wheel that keeps spinning faster and faster until we become dizzy – we want to get off but it is going so fast we do not know how.

Reflection and taking time to understand spiritual knowledge bring us to the essence of everything.

Temper Tantrums

Habits go deep. It’s been estimated that eighty percent of our lives are lived by habit. That means somewhere in the past we learned to become easily upset or angry. Perhaps we were influenced by our parents, perhaps we picked up the habit from some friends at school. Just as we may have enjoyed playing with toys as a child, or placing pieces into our jigsaw puzzle, we built a place for short temper into our temperament . From there it grew into one of our prized habits. If so, now is the time to dismantle , break apart and rebuild our temperament or our personality. It’s much easier than we think and does not require specialist help. It requires only our interest, some understanding and the intention to change how we respond to the world around us. Never believe anyone who says, “I can’t change… I’ve been always been like this…. this is the personality I was born with.” We didn’t inherit our current personality from our parents, we acquired it as we grew up.

Re-Discovering Inner Treasures

Whenever the situation or atmosphere becomes polluted with tension, sorrow, or negativity of any type, withdraw immediately into the self and dive deep into the ocean of sanskaras, picking up the pearls of peace and contentment. Come back to that situation feeling refreshed, calm and clear, with the strength to deal with any circumstances. The process of self-introspection (self observation) need only take a few moments.


Let the intellect focus on the following thoughts and reading over them slowly, go deeply into the experience of each state being described:

The soul is a point of energy, weightless and light situated at the center of the forehead… Let the intellect see deeper into the self and emerge the memory of the stillness of the original state of the soul, a state full of love, peace and bliss… Let the outside world continue on its way, but for a few moments be detached from it… turn within, and enjoy the inner treasures… of calmness, of peace, a very pure experience… the peaceful soul can more easily gather together its inner powers… Peace itself is a rare power… just sitting and feeling still, experience the refreshment and restoration of strength to the intellect… the cleansing of the mind.

“To be humble is to be a source of happiness to all around.”


Sometimes we find that we don’t mean to be negative to others but people seem to be displeased with us. When there is any kind of sorrow experienced or if others are experiencing any negative feelings, it means we are not working with our inner humility.


We need to develop regard for all around us. When we work with this regard there will be humility within us. This naturally enables others to experience happiness. To the extent that even in the most negative situations others will experience happiness.

Overcoming Phobias Through Meditation

A phobia is an intense , continuous and illogical fear of an object, situation, activity, person or animal that’s generally considered harmless. Accompanying the fear is an excessive, unreasonable desire to avoid what you fear. When facing the object of his/her phobia, the person may experience negative feelings like excessive sweating, poor control of nerves, difficulty breathing, rapid heart rate, anxiety , etc. In some cases, the avoidance or distress in the feared situation interferes significantly with the person’s daily routine, social activities, relationships etc.

To overcome any phobia, read over silently and visualize the following positive thoughts:

 I am a soul, an eternal, immortal and indestructible (which cannot be destroyed) point of life energy……..

Sitting on my throne in the centre of the forehead, I the ruler, perform actions through my body……..

I have incarnated (entered) in this physical body from ‘shantidham’, my incorporeal (non-physical) home, original home of light……..

I am an actor on the huge world drama stage……..

All the other souls are actors too, each acting a unique role through its own individual body-costume……..

This spiritual knowledge makes me detached and fearless……..

Unimportant scenes of the drama that would have previously brought about fear in me no longer affect me……..

Through Rajyoga meditation, the soul can experience all relationships with the Supreme Soul in its day-to-day life. I continue –

I experience receiving powerful vibrations of spiritual might from the Supreme Being……..

I fill my mind with thoughts of courage……..

When the Almighty is my Father, my Mother, my Companion, my Guide, no one can be my enemy……..

Nothing can harm me in any way……..

Fear is wasted energy, it has no power in my life……..

Now I am becoming a bold person and I am capable of facing all fearful situations with increased self-confidence ……..

At the end of the meditation practice, for a few minutes, the patient should create a picture of the fearful situation in his mind, while at the same time learning to relax. This will help him to decrease the anxiety (worry) when he faces the real life situation and he will be able to completely overcome (face) the specific fears.


Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries